When Love Means Loving From a Distance

Loving others is something God calls us to do, but sometimes, it doesn’t look the way we expect it to. Loving others isn’t always about staying close, giving them unlimited access to our lives, or letting them hurt us over and over again. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is love them from a distance.

I’ve had to learn this the hard way. There are times when we need to set boundaries, especially with people who are toxic, people who keep hurting us, or people who, instead of drawing us closer to God, pull us further away. It’s not easy, but sometimes, for the sake of our peace and our walk with God, loving someone from a distance is the healthiest choice.

When Do You Know It’s Time to Love from Afar?

It’s not always clear when it’s time to step back, but there are some signs to look for. I’ve found that it’s important to listen to your heart and let God guide you through these tough decisions. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

1. When the Relationship is Toxic

There are relationships that just drain us. They’re draining emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even spiritually. I’ve been there—where you feel like you’re giving and giving, and it never feels like you’re getting anything back. A toxic relationship is one that constantly brings negativity, criticism, and hurt, and when you realize that, it’s time to think about how much longer you can stay in that situation. 

Loving someone doesn’t mean allowing them to treat you poorly or harm you continuously. Sometimes, stepping away is the most loving thing you can do—for both of you.

2. When They Keep Hurting You 

I think most of us know that feeling when someone keeps hurting us. Whether it’s through words, actions, or neglect, you give them chance after chance, but nothing changes. You forgive, but they continue to hurt you. It’s hard to admit that, but sometimes, the best way to protect your heart is to create space. 

You can forgive someone without constantly putting yourself back in harm’s way. It’s okay to love someone from a distance, even when you’ve been hurt.

3. When They Lead You Away from God 

As a Christian, the people I surround myself with need to help me grow in my faith. If someone is pulling me away from God, influencing me to make choices that don’t honor Him, or encouraging me to follow a path that isn’t aligned with His will, it’s time to take a step back. 

This doesn’t mean you stop loving them, it means you protect your relationship with God. You can pray for them, care for them, but you don’t need to keep them in your life in a way that affects your faith.

4. Even Close Family Members Can Be Toxic

Sometimes, we feel like just because someone is family, we have to keep them close, even if they’re hurting us. We think that family should be the people we can rely on the most, but that’s not always the case. Toxic behavior can come from the people who are closest to us, and it’s important to recognize that it’s okay to set boundaries with them too. 

I had to teach my daughter this lesson when she was hurt by family members who, for some reason, chose to speak harshly about her. It devastated her, and she couldn’t understand why they would treat her that way when all she wanted was to be a part of their lives. It was a hard lesson, but I had to help her realize that just because someone is family doesn’t mean you have to allow them to continuously hurt you. You can love them from a distance, pray for them, and protect your own heart.

Setting Boundaries with Love

Loving someone from a distance doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It means you’re protecting your heart, your peace, and your relationship with God. God calls us to love others, but He also calls us to love ourselves in a way that honors Him.

Setting boundaries is hard, especially when you care deeply about someone. But I’ve learned that it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to protect your heart. God doesn’t want us to stay in relationships that hurt us. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do for someone is to let them go for a while, or even permanently, if it means we’re walking in a healthier place.

Lord, give me the wisdom to know when it’s time to step back from relationships that aren’t healthy for me. Help me to love others well, even when that means creating distance. Help me to set boundaries that protect my peace, my heart, and my walk with You. Thank You for being my refuge and strength. In Jesus’ name, Amen.