How to Handle Anger
Anger is something we all struggle with at one point or another. Whether it’s frustration with a situation, disappointment in a relationship, or the stress of life piling up, it can be hard to keep our emotions in check. For me, anger has been my biggest struggle. It’s something I’ve battled with for as long as I can remember, and even though I’ve made progress, it’s still something I pray about regularly.
I’ve asked God to help me with my anger, to give me patience, and to guide me when my emotions get the best of me. And while I’m far from perfect, I’ve learned some practical steps along the way that have really helped me manage my anger better. I wanted to share these with you in case you’re struggling with the same thing.
We’re all human, and anger is a natural emotion, but what matters is how we handle it. As Christians, we’re called to respond with grace, not with wrath. So, here are some things that have been helping me get better at controlling my anger and turning those frustrating moments into opportunities to trust God more.
1. Pause and Breathe
One of the first things I’ve learned is to pause. I used to react immediately when I was angry, and that always made things worse. Now, when I feel that anger rising, I take a deep breath, and remind myself to stop before I say or do anything. It’s only a few seconds, but those seconds help me to pause and think before reacting. I’ve found that just giving myself a moment can make all the difference. In those few moments, I pray, asking God to calm my heart, be my peace and give me clarity.
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." – James 1:19
2. Pray for Peace
In the heat of the moment, I try to stop and pray. I’ll ask God for peace, for wisdom, and for the strength to respond with kindness instead of frustration. There’s something powerful about surrendering those angry feelings to God and asking Him for help. I’ve found that when I pray, God gives me a sense of calm that helps me see the situation more clearly. It’s not always instant, but the more I practice, the more I feel His peace taking over.
3. Remember God’s Patience with Us
It’s easy to forget that God is so patient with us, especially when we’re angry. He shows us grace over and over again, and He’s slow to anger. Reflecting on God’s patience helps me extend that same grace to others. I think, “If God can be patient with me, then I can be patient with them.” Remembering God’s kindness and forgiveness in my own life has helped me to show that same patience when I feel angry.
"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love." – Psalm 103:8
4. Talk It Out (Calmly)
Another thing that has really helped me is learning to talk things out calmly. I’ve learned that often, my anger is coming from feeling misunderstood or hurt, and talking it through—without raising my voice—has been such a healing step. When I feel anger building, I remind myself to express my feelings in a way that honors both me and the person I’m upset with. It’s not always easy, but having those honest, calm conversations has brought so much peace into my relationships.
"Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." – Ephesians 4:26
5. Let Go of the Need to Be Right
I’ve also learned that sometimes, my anger comes from wanting to be right. I have a tendency to hold on tight to my point of view, but I’ve realized that letting go of the need to win the argument can bring more peace than I ever imagined. I’m learning to prioritize love and understanding over being right. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. When I let go of my pride and choose peace instead, it makes all the difference.
"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." – Proverbs 29:11
Lord, I come to You with a heart that struggles with anger. Help me to pause and breathe before I react. Teach me to pray for peace and to remember Your great patience with me. When I feel my anger rising, remind me to speak calmly, to let go of my need to be right, and to choose love over conflict. Thank You for Your grace and for being with me in every moment. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
