Finding Christ in the Midst of Depression and Anxiety
Life is a wild ride, isn’t it? It’s full of twists and turns, ups and downs, and sometimes it feels like we’re caught in the middle of a storm with no umbrella in sight. That’s certainly how I felt as I battled my way through the dark waters of anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.
Depression and anxiety are like unwelcome guests that linger far too long, casting shadows over every aspect of our lives, especially motherhood. Picture waking up each morning with a heavy cloud hanging over your head, making it hard to find joy in the simple moments of parenting. It's a struggle that many of us can relate to all too well.
Anxiety, in particular, can manifest in countless ways for moms, from worrying endlessly about our children's well-being to feeling overwhelmed by the demands of daily life. Depression, on the other hand, can drain us of our energy and leave us feeling utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally.
Despite their prevalence, depression and anxiety are often misunderstood and stigmatized, leaving us feeling isolated and alone in our struggles. But let me assure you, sweet mama, it's okay to not be okay. Motherhood is messy and imperfect, and it's okay to seek support when we need it most.
I’ve experienced firsthand the weight of depression and anxiety. From a young age, I carried the weight of feeling like I wasn't good enough, like I didn't quite measure up to the expectations placed upon me. I always felt like I wasn’t a good enough daughter and moving back and forth between my parents' homes whenever things got tough only reinforced those feelings, leaving me with a sense of instability and a deep-seated fear of rejection. I believe that is what started the feeling of anxiety and depression inside of me. It was as if the seeds of anxiety and depression had been planted within me, taking root and growing stronger with each passing year.
As I grew older, these challenges only seemed to intensify. They infiltrated every aspect of my life, from my relationships to my jobs, from my role as a friend to my duties as a mother and now a wife. When I got married, we were both young and made so many mistakes. Our relationship was toxic and marked by verbal and emotional abuse. Although we are so far from that place today, and I thank God for where we are now, it took a lot to get here, and it caused so much pain, which only worsened the feelings of depression and anxiety I was already grappling with.
Every day felt like a battle against the voices inside my head, telling me I wasn't good enough, smart enough, capable enough. "You can't do it," they would whisper, echoing through the corridors of my mind. There were days when I felt completely trapped, unable to see a way out of the darkness. Panic attacks would leave me gasping for air, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably. There were days when I couldn't find the strength to get out of bed, the weight of the world pressing down on my chest like a heavy blanket. Simple tasks like cleaning the house or cooking dinner felt impossible, leaving me overwhelmed and paralyzed. And then there were the outbursts of anger, the moments when I would snap without warning, lashing out at those around me or breaking objects in a fit of frustration.
But through it all, my love for my children was my guiding light, pushing me to keep going, even when the darkness threatened to consume me. One day, I remember feeling like I just couldn't go on like this anymore. My chest ached with a pain I had never felt before, and tears streamed down my face in a torrent unlike anything I had ever experienced. I fell to my knees, crying out to God with every fiber of my being. I poured out my heart to Him, asking Him to help me, to heal my heart, to take away the pain that was consuming me from the inside out. And as I surrendered everything to Him, I felt a profound sense of peace wash over me, as if He was wrapping me in His loving embrace. I knew then and there that He had been with me all along, just waiting for me to call out to Him. I've discovered that God is not distant or indifferent to our suffering, but rather, He meets us in our darkest moments with love, compassion, and grace.
Our faith teaches us that we are never alone, that God is always with us, even in our darkest moments. As moms, we can find solace in knowing that God sees our struggles and offers us His love and grace. I know this firsthand because in the middle of the darkness, I found a glimmer of hope. It was a tiny spark at first, barely visible amidst the chaos, but it grew stronger with each passing day. I wanted to get better, not just for myself, but for my children and my husband. I wanted to be present for them, to show them that even in the midst of struggles, there is still light to be found. Faith can serve as a guiding light, offering comfort, strength, and hope to us.
Our journey of healing from depression and anxiety involves both spiritual and practical steps. While prayer and scripture can provide comfort and guidance, it's also important to take practical actions to care for our mental and emotional well-being, both for ourselves and for our children.
One practical step is to cultivate a regular practice of prayer and meditation, even if it's just for a few minutes each day while the kids nap or play. Finding moments of stillness in the midst of the chaos can be profoundly healing.
In addition to spiritual practices, surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family can also play a crucial role in managing depression and anxiety. Especially those who share your faith can provide a source of strength, encouragement, and understanding. Their presence can serve as a reminder of God's love and grace, helping to lift your spirits during difficult times.
Seeking professional help is another essential aspect of managing depression and anxiety. Therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists can offer valuable insights, tools, and strategies for coping with our symptoms and addressing underlying issues. It's important to remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather, a sign of strength and courage.
It’s important to remember that we have an enemy who seeks to undermine our faith and drag us down into despair. The enemy wants us to believe the lies in our head, to drown in our sorrows, and to feel unworthy of God's love. But that is a lie. As believers, we are called to stand firm against the schemes of the enemy. The Bible reassures us of our identity and calling: we are fearfully and wonderfully made, intricately woven together by God Himself, and precious in His sight. We are more than conquerors in all things, overwhelmingly victorious through Him who loved us. We are loved with an everlasting love, drawn to God with unfailing kindness. We are called to cast our anxieties on Him because He cares for us, and we are assured that we need not fear, for God is with us, strengthening and upholding us with His righteous right hand. In embracing these truths and standing firm on God's promises, we can combat the lies of the enemy and find strength, peace, and hope in our journey towards healing.
I wish I could say that my journey has been easy, that I've overcome my struggles once and for all. But the truth is, I still wrestle with anxiety, depression, and self-doubt on a daily basis. Yet, through it all, I find strength in my faith and in the love and support of those around me. I may not have all the answers, but I know that as long as I keep moving forward, one step at a time, I will continue to find grace amidst the storm.
With love and warmth,
Your Sister in Christ, Nancy
